envy during APAHM/AANHPI/AAPI Heritage Month

Social media envy is tough, especially during May and AAPI/AANHPI Heritage Month. I’m seeing so many people I know or at least have met do things like speak at The White House, go to galas with Asian Oscar winners (TAAF, Gold House’s Gold Gala, APAICS, Met Ball) hang out with Oscar winners at after parties, appear on national tv, see people blow up on social media with tons of views/likes/follows, see photographers get the gigs I want, see people getting speaking gigs I want, see people get on most influential/impactful lists, etc. (And it’s especially tougher, for some reason, to see when they’re younger or have done things for less amount of time). I’m happy for them and these feel like wins for all AAPI/AANHPI (although I can’t speak to a NH or PI experience). I also think we still have a long way to go to achieve better societal progress and change. Asian Americans and NH/PI SHOULD be loud about their accomplishments, honors, and impact, but I’m also envious. It’s motivating too, in that I see many of these things as achievable, but right now it’s more envy inducing than motivating. (I think I’d feel better about seeing younger people get the recognition they deserve if I’ve influenced/inspired them in some way.)

I wonder how much of this envy is related to a scarcity mindset we’ve been brainwashed with due to white anti-Asian (and all POC) racism. (Chinese Exclusion Act, quota systems in all industries, the legacies of those exclusion laws, Asian American history being taught as an elective and not part of core US history…